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| im back to my old habits...
and im determined this time...
im not gonna stop...
it WILL work...
NOTHING can stop me...
dont try, nothing will work...
if you dont know what im talking about, dont worry about it...
and if you do, dont try and stop me...
im sick and tired of the way i am...
just to let you know... | | |
| ok, let me lay it out for any of you who do not know my situation...
i have a good amount of friends...
99.99% of my close friends are older than me...
and i CONSTANTLY get...
"your too young"
"i dont want to hurt your 'virgin' ears"
"i better not tell you, your not old enough yet"
or my personal favorite...
"wait, ur like like what, five???"(sarcastically)
im SERIOUSLY pissed off at this....
im one or two years younger than you, and in some cases im 10 years more mature than some of you...
im OBVIOUSLY not naming names, but some of you are really bad with this...
i can't stand it when someone brings up the fact that im older...
i feel like because you use that, there is a barrier blocking our
ability to become closer, i feel like that because of that crap, i will
never have a best friend just bacause im younger...
i HATE it whan people use it against me... this friday alone, it was
used against me 4 times, i was so pissed off, like, it was SO pissed off...
so, im asking you ALL nicely and anonamously...
PLEASE DO NOT EVER
USE THAT CRAP AGAINST ME, IT PISSES ME OFF AND I WONT TALK TO YOU
BECAUSE IM SO PISSED OFF. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I LOSE ALL RESPECT IN
SOME PEOPLE WHEN THEY SAY THAT CRAP TO ME!!!
whats the big deal with me being one (or two) year(s) younger anyways???
i
know some of you are just trying to be "cute" or "funny" but its not
and i really dont like it, and because of that when you say that crap
i get really pissed, like right now...
is it too much to ask?
am i being irrational?
tell me if i am, and we can have a little "chat" about it, k? | | |
| im so happy right now, like, life is great, i love life...
it
would only be better if i wasnt fat... but oh well, im working on it. i
just love life, i have FANTABULOUS friends and im getting closer to
more friends which i LOVE like africa(which means alot, if you dont
know me) and i just love life =] and this guard season has been AWESOME
like seriously, i dont know where i would be if i did percussion or
quit guard. i have found something that i seriously love doing it and i
cant get enough of it. i love everything about it, i just love it. i
love practice, i love competitions, i love the people, i love the
environment, i love the attitude, and i love the show. i just cant get
enough of it. its like being on drugs; its addicting, you cant stop,
and you want more ALL THE TIME. i just wish i wouldnt be so fat cuz
guard would be so much easier on a emotional AND physical level. im
finally happy, its so great, i just love it. so yeah, today was
akward.. my best friend wont talk to me because of whatever and i dont
care anymore, but whatever, so yeah, im really SUPER UBER DUPER HAPPY
and i LOVE it!! =]]]]] dont you love me when im not depressed!!!
-lizzard
p.s. alex and i found my inside voice today, so I HAVE AN INSIDE VOICE (but i dont like to use it...=]) | | |
| i LOVE LIFE!!! i am SO happy.. my life has flipped and im doing so well and im so happy, i just love everything about life!!!
just wanted ya'll to know 
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If I were to say that I screw up my own life, what would you
say in return? “No you didn’t, you
can’t blame yourself”, “you are over exaggerating… you are just fine…”
But really… I have… I don’t realize what I say, or what I
do, until AFTER and then I feel bad for doing or saying those things…I have
quit my passion (softball) which has broken my heart and pissed people off…I
have disregarded important things like school, family, friends, and I have been
focusing on myself… I have done some things in the past couple of months that
has changed me into a stubborn jerk… somebody is trying to help me with it and
I act like a stubborn jerk to her when she tries… I feel bad because, its not
really me talking its my self conscious mind that just wants what I used to
THINK I wanted… but, now I don’t want anything to do with it, it is just
there and it wont stop… I thought I could do this on my own at first but
now I realize that I really cant I need support, and friends… both of which I
have already screwed up… I have never felt like a bigger sack of shit then I do
now…I really have screwed up my own life…
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